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| i saw his mail, it is true, guys cannot be trusted. He not love me anymore. He send mail to chase other gal, saying i love to her, and because he cant get her, so he turn back to me. I was damn angty and desparate. I was thinking want to commit suicide...i tear off our photo, tear off the Christmas card he gave me yesterday,... I just dunno what to do....wish i can go home now. Today is the saddest day of my life. And i just want to stay quiet. | | |
| Tomorrow is Merry Christmas....Remember the song of Merry Christmas?...merry christmas, i give u my heart, kiss me,....Today my dear ask me to promise him not to cry because of the same matter( i scared he will be with other gal and break up with me) again, and trust him, believe that we will be together in future..trust him he would not look for other gals in UK...All right, i trust him now. But how about in next 4years? U know, anything can happen which is beyond my control even in one month or one day. Maybe he is right, seens we are beyond control what will happen, why dont just be open minded , i mean, i should free my mind from worry about this relationship matter again. There are too much worries, but as long as i have my parents who always give me support in my life, that's more than enough. Well, after come back from UK, i wish i can just live peacefully, and concentrate on my studies. Too much abstraction and distraction, and i was started learning to live the life without him from last year(Dec 2005). .. | | |
| i just...tired. i dont like the life in uk here. I miss the time in penang. | | |
| The weather is so cold here in UK. i miss my family in Penang. When i was inside the airplane travel from KL to London, i had my tears down. I am suppose to be anticipant in this trip.Maybe that's because it's my first time. This is my first time to take the air plane, first time traveling to europe county and also it is the first time i did it all by myself...i mean, the journey to UK which total takes 14hours time, is all i done it by myself. Well, i should be happy here...at this morning, i am still quite happy. Helping up my dear to wash his clothes, though the weather is so bad, but i think it's all worthy as my dear treat me so good here. Until i am too boring, i start to open the handphone that my dear gave me. And something bad happen to me. I saw my lovely dear had sent a message to a girl, and the content was written " I break up with my girlfriend. ". I never want to break up with him. After read those messages, i start to cry. I was crying in his bedroom, and started to blame myself. It's all because i was not with him while he is lonely....and many other reasons, that i think is because i couldn't spent time with him. i just...feeling painful. | | |
| Yesterday i nearly make my lecturer angry about me. Feel some sorry about him. | | |
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